Half the game is mental; the other half is being mental. ~Jim McKenny
Some Hockey Inspiration
| A mother was making a breakfast of
fried eggs for her son.
Suddenly her son burst into the kitchen. Careful! CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my goodness! You are cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They are going to STICK! CAREFUL!!!! I said be CAREFUL!! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY! Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! USE THE SALT!!!!!!!! The mother stared at him. What is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs? The son calmly replied; I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm trying to play hockey. |
A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another. ~Jimmy Cannon
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DEAR MOM & DAD, I HOPE YOU WON’T get mad at me for writing this letter, but you always tell me never to hold anything back and to bring it out in the open. So here goes, it’s about hockey. You’re always embarrassing me. Yesterday when I went after the puck in front of the goal trying to score, I fell, and well, Mom, I could hear you yelling at the goalie for tripping me. Gosh, Mom, it wasn’t his fault. He’s supposed to keep me from scoring. THEN DO YOU REMEMBER yelling at me to get on the blue line? Well, gee, I didn’t know where to go then; ‘cuz the coach had told me to cover my man, and I couldn’t if I listened to you. So while I tried to decide what to do, the other team scored against us. Then you yelled at me for being in the wrong place. I wish you’d yell some good things at all of us sometimes. DAD, YOU’RE always yelling, "hit him" or "get him" and gosh, I’d rather play hockey than sit in the penalty box. Besides, my coach tells me to "lean" on my man and steer him away from the goal and into the boards. That way it’s a clean check and I get to stay on the ice and play some more. I’m not saying that all coaches teach that way, but our coach tells us we’ve got lots of time to learn how to hit harder and how to do it right. BUT WHAT REALLY GOT ME REALLY mad, Mom and Dad, was what happened after the game. You shouldn’t have jumped on the coach for pulling me off the ice. He’s a pretty good coach and he knows when he needs a power line on the ice. Besides, he’s just a volunteer coming to the rink at all hours to help us kids, just ‘cuz he likes sports and he likes kids. And then neither of you spoke to me the whole way home. I guess you think I’m just a lousy hockey player. And I guess I am. But I love hockey. I like being with the other kids and learning how to compete as a good sport in a really great sport. I GUESS WHAT I’M TRYING to say, Mom and Dad, is I wish you were good sports, ‘cuz I thought I was playing hockey for fun, to have a good time, to learn how to play a sport as a team member and learn sportsmanship. I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE going to be so upset because I couldn’t become a star. |
Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. ~Doug Larson
Half the game is mental; the other half is being mental. ~Jim McKenny
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New Hockey MOM It started insidiously eight years ago, when my here-to-fore perfectly normal son expressed an interest in playing hockey. I thought one of those "I love my hockey player" bumper stickers would look cute on my car, so I said yes. That was my first mistake. |
How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo? ~Jacques Plante
Some people skate to the puck. I skate to where the puck is going to be. ~Wayne Gretzky
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3 guidelines as a hockey player 1.Embrace the ice, for it is She who makes hockey possible. |
Hockey is murder on ice. ~Jim Murray
Street hockey is great for kids. It's energetic, competitive, and skilful. And best of all it keeps them off the street. ~Author Unknown
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out. ~Rodney Dangerfield
We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital. ~Brad Park
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Are You A Good Hockey Parent? |
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We realize that watching little loved ones scurry around the rink can occasionally be frustrating. But there should be limits on the manifestations of that frustration. If you take a look at the following questions and notice a bit of yourself in there, or if you answer yes to all of them, we ask that you kindly remove your name from running for hockey parent of the year. |
| Are you more fond of your child's first skate than his or her first steps? Was the child's first stuffed animal neither stuffed nor an animal, but a puck? When your kids clean their plates, do you make Zamboni references? Do you have a spreadsheet on your fridge with your child's statistics? Do you cheer during warmups? Do you keep your son or daughter's stats during warmups? Do you keep your son or daughter's stats during practice? Unless your child needs a ride, do you go to practice? Have you ever found yourself at center ice, without skates on, in street clothes, during a game, as the only non-official adult on the ice, uninvited, cursing at an official? Have you ever dreamt of the above scenario? Is your mugshot on a bulletin board at your local rink above the words, "barred from entry"? Did you bribe the rink manager to take it down? Have you ever refused to remove your foot from a coach's neck until he threatens legal action? Have you ever threatened someone else at a game with legal action? Have you ever threatened someone else at a game with your kid's Synergy? Do you think of sneaking through the ventilation system and into your son or daughter's opponent's locker room, where you can take sandpaper to a few strategically chosen skates? Have you tried to return your son or daughter's stick to the pro shop because it had "no goals in it"? Have you tried to return your son or daughter's skates to the pro shop because "everyone seems faster"? Did you contact NCAA scouts before your kid's 10th birthday? Do you demand of your kid that a goal and an assist be scored before you'll let him or her eat? Do you demand of your kid that a goal and an assist be scored before you'll let anyone in the family eat? Do you call your son or daughter by a different name -- like, say, Stone Hands -- depending on how well he or she plays? Do you not call your son or daughter at all depending on how well he or she plays? Do you believe your kid shouldn't pass the puck ... ever? Did you christen your child in a makeshift Stanley Cup? On the day your child was born, did you work out the math on his draft-eligible year? Do the candles on his cake correspond to the birth date or the years remaining "as an amateur"? Was your child's first word was the name of your favorite hockey team? Do you wish your child's first word was the name of your favorite hockey team? Have you yelled at your kid for not picking up on your telepathic message to shoot low to the stick side? Have you ever made your kid run home, with his gear on his or her back, beside the car, for missing an open net? Have you ever led a "S-I-E-V-E!" chant against a 10-year-old? Do you include in your local youth hockey newsletter a section called "coaches on the hot seat"? Do you refer to school days as "off days"? Do you refer to game days as "what it's all about"? Do you speak often in sports clichés? Do you forget the last compliment you've given to your kid's teammates? Do you forget the last compliment you've given to your own kid? Thanks to: |
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One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, The battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all. |